So, you still merely see a woman when you look at me
Perhaps even a stubborn little girl?
It seems, sitting in silence for hours, digging your soul,
Didn’t help you much to see through the masks
Who is looking at you from behind her eyes
Is actually a familiar one
But to remember who this is
You must forget first who you are not
Told you a couple of days ago, these are just spacesuits
Are you sure you still want to just look at the surface?
I get you are where you have to be right now on your own journey
I see you are genuinely working on what you need
Thank you for showing me this in subtle ways that you know
Only I can understand
This proves, you actually care
Despite you are hesitant to confess
But I already know this from the very beginning anyway!
Please try to see, you are not actually opening up to me
I am aware, this is an anxious self-confession
So, I know this show is not put on stage for me
Also, I can feel how nervous and shy you are
As if you are sharing a precious secret that you care dearly
On this side, I am trying to figure out:
Do you really not feel how my soul burns and how my heart hurts,
Just as I feel yours,
When I have to take off, right now, like a butterfly,
Forced to leave its cocoon behind and fly with broken wings
Yet again for another solo flight
You may think I am trying to be poetic
No, unfortunately not. I wish I was. But I am not.
I also don’t know how to be playful about
What is happening in my life right now
“Though, why would you even care?”— asks a part of me,
and it wants to attack you so badly:
“Of course, you are busy with your ‘own’ spiritual journey!
Why bother with this girl, right?
As if your journey has anything to do with me!
Ok, then let me see if I get this right:
So now you’re digging your ‘soul’,
But you don’t need a ‘mate’ to work on this inner call…
Really!?
Then why do you think you hang out here lately?
Oh, right!
Cos reading these poems are just fun!!!
There you go, I choose to give myself away
I dont want to be driven by frustration, anger and pain
What is the point of attacking you
You’ll eventually understand everything
With or without me anyway
Maybe you should indeed just let her go and forget about all this, if you can. Perhaps, thus, she’d stop feeling your soul and give up on this bond, if you really dont want to come along and hold her hand.
She is tired. I am tired. You are tired as well.
This burden gets heavier everyday
I am tired of being the giver whithout receiving anything other than the burden of your soul, My Dear.
Tell me now, what else I can do at this stage
Should I just let go of you without further disturbing your silent comfort?
Or, how about I just say what you want to hear outright and disappear altogether from your life?
I thought so!
Ok.
I love you, but I am not attached to you.Do you want me to accept it too?
Ok,
I know you love me too, but you don’t want to be, and are not indeed, attached to me at all.Ok. Point taken.
Great!
Now we can do whatever we want.That’s it.
Look we are ‘free’ now. This is freedom, right?!Here is your freedom then, MD,
You are free to do whatever you want
At the end of the day, as le petit prince says,
You hurt me, Mehdi
But, it is ok
Zeynep
